Blogg Five: Immediacy - Say My Name

Throwback. 1999. Destiny’s Child. Say My Name.

Great song, right? Stuck in your head? You’re welcome. Challenge: go buy the album from iTunes. Again, you’ll thank me later.

Don’t ask questions. I didn’t even listen to Destiny’s Child when they were in. But this song became an instant hit upon its release on the album The Writing’s on the Wall, and I have to admit, it is rather catchy. And, interestingly enough, it popped into my head today as I was reading about common verbal approach and avoidance strategies for verbal immediacy. Take a look at the lyrics:

Say my name, say my name

If no one is around you say “baby, I love you”

If you ain’t runnin’ game

Say my name, say my name

You actin’ kinda shady

Ain’t callin’ me baby

Why the sudden change?

Say my name, say my name

If no one is around you say “baby, I love you”

If you ain’t runnin’ game

Say my name, say my name

You actin’ kinda shady

Ain’t callin’ me baby

Better say my name

Any other day I would call, you would say

“Baby how’s your day?”

But today it ain’t the same

Every other word is uh huh, yeah okay

Could it that you are at the crib with another lady?

If you took it there, first of all, let me say

I am not the one to sit around and be played

So prove yourself to me

I’m the girl that you claim

Why don’t you say the things

That you said to me yesterday?

Clearly, the man to whom these ladies are singing is using the avoidance strategies. All Beyonce wants is the immediacy she once enjoyed with her man. Her complaints include:

1. He is not saying her name. This is number 8 on the list of avoidance strategies. By not using her name, he is failing to recognize her as a person, especially a person of some significance in his life.

2. He is not using ritualistic statements. This is number 1 on the approach strategies list. He used to ask the same question, “Baby, how’s your day?” but apparently he has slacked off and is no longer showing interest.

3. He is using abrupt communication, responding to her with simple, short answers. This is number 1 on the avoidance strategies list. Every other word is uh huh, yeah okay. These are answers that obviously leave little potential for further communication, and thus close the conversation, or at least make it much more difficult.

Maybe Destiny’s Child unintentionally revealed every woman’s desire for immediacy with her man. I think it not coincidental that these words both send a meaningful message on immediacy and communication as well as compose the Best R&B Song of 1999.