Blogg Seven: Intercultural Relationships - Gestures

As I was looking through some old photos of mine, I was surprised at the number of picures in which people were giving a thumbs up. Here are just a few that I came across.

Betsy is proud of her owl cookie.

"Wow, that turned out great!"

Brad is a big fan of security guards.

"Isn't he doing a fantastic job?"

Even the graffiti man gives the thumbs up.

"I love my cement life in the sewer!"

Me and my freshman roommates on my birthday.

"Games outside in lantern light are fun!"

I'm having a blast at my cousin's wedding.

"The cake? Yes, delicious indeed."

After talking about intercultural communication, including gestures and movement, in class this week and upon doing some of my own research, I realized just how ambiguous this signal can be outside my American culture context.

In Bangladesh, Iran, Iraq, and Thailand, the thumbs up sign is an obscene gesture, equivalent to the use of the middle finger in the Western world. That’s offensive. Oops.

In the UK, specifically northwest England, thumbs up is used as a greeting or farewell, or even simple recognition, similar to a hand wave.

In parts of West Africa and South America, the thumbs up sign is a foul insult.

In Russia and Finland, the sign can mean “awesome” or “good” or “well-done.”

In Egypt or Israel, the thumbs up is interpreted “perfect” or “very good.”

In Italy, this sign can indicate something is “OK” or represent the number one.

In America, obviously the thumbs up signifies approval or congratulations, and overall happiness or contentment.

When traveling internationally, one must be aware of various gestures and their meanings in the context of each visited culture. I realize some of these pictures would be interpreted differently if viewed by a person from another culture. I will probably begin to be more conscious of my appearance and gestures when I take pictures in the future, simply as a result of this research.

Blogg Six: Chronemics - Punctuality

When I was young, punctuality was rarely up to me, for I was not in charge of myself. I have two older siblings, and my mom was responsible for getting all three of us dressed and ready and to school on-time. When it comes to punctuality, as is the result of moving at an appropriate speed, my oldest brother was the worst. Even when he reached high school, he never completed his morning routine in a timely manner. In fact, his perpetual tardiness was such an issue that my other brother felt the need, really for the sake of the world, to submit a new time management product to his middle school “Invention Convention” science-fair. Anyway, I was rarely on time to school, sports practices, and the like; it was just known that the Gordon family would be late. And as much as my mom hated for that to be our reputation, it didn’t change.

However, when I received my driver’s license and became responsible for myself, I developed my own punctuality habits. I contribute much of this development to my participation in school athletics. My basketball coach ran a tight ship – the first day of practice, we synchronized our watches to hers, and that became the law. Her adopted motto, “To be early is to be on-time; to be on-time is to be late; and to be late is unacceptable,” was repeated daily. If I arrived at the gym one minute late, I ran one “horse” (a running drill we all came to loathe); two minutes late, two “horses”, and so on. Consequently, I became a very punctual person, even though at first it was out of fear of the consequences. This punctual behavior was not limited to the basketball practice realm, but seeped into my every day life. I came to appreciate my coach’s standard of using my own time effectively and respecting and valuing the time of others. I decided it was a good standard to implement for myself, and to which to hold others around me accountable, even when they didn’t expect or desire to be held in such a way. I believe punctuality, excluding any outrageous circumstances which might cause me to be tardy, is now simply a part of who I am.

There are cases, however, in which I am not punctual. This is intentional tardiness, of course. You are all familiar with the concept of being “fashionably late.” Certain events or perspectives, by some unspoken cultural norm, call for such an out-of-character behavior. Being the first one at a function, such as a dance or party, has been deemed “lame” or “awkward” in my generation. While I may not agree that these social interaction labels are inevitable in many cases, I still abide by the unwritten rules. Similarly, I keep from being the first one in a classroom because that would make me a “nerd” or “not cool.” I like to arrive somewhere in the middle, after some students, but before the “slackers.” (I would like to acknowledge the fact that I am often one of the last students, along with Bree, Nicole, Callie, and Ashley, to enter our Nonverbal Communication classroom. However…have you seen out the castellaw living room? It’s a gem. We like to soak up every last magical moment on those couches. We always leave promptly at 10:08, just in time to finish our conversation in a few short steps. I extend no apology, only an invitation).

I read several articles online concerning the issue of this intentional tardiness and proper etiquette. Though this one wasn’t necessarily the most useful, I found the author, “Miss Manners” of msn’s lifestyle page to make a humorous point: “Why no one wants to arrive first is a matter that has always bewildered Miss Manners. You get to talk with the hosts, you don’t have to forage for food and drink, and you have an excuse for being the first to leave.” I think she has a point. What were we thinking making tardiness a norm?

Blogg Five: Immediacy - Say My Name

Throwback. 1999. Destiny’s Child. Say My Name.

Great song, right? Stuck in your head? You’re welcome. Challenge: go buy the album from iTunes. Again, you’ll thank me later.

Don’t ask questions. I didn’t even listen to Destiny’s Child when they were in. But this song became an instant hit upon its release on the album The Writing’s on the Wall, and I have to admit, it is rather catchy. And, interestingly enough, it popped into my head today as I was reading about common verbal approach and avoidance strategies for verbal immediacy. Take a look at the lyrics:

Say my name, say my name

If no one is around you say “baby, I love you”

If you ain’t runnin’ game

Say my name, say my name

You actin’ kinda shady

Ain’t callin’ me baby

Why the sudden change?

Say my name, say my name

If no one is around you say “baby, I love you”

If you ain’t runnin’ game

Say my name, say my name

You actin’ kinda shady

Ain’t callin’ me baby

Better say my name

Any other day I would call, you would say

“Baby how’s your day?”

But today it ain’t the same

Every other word is uh huh, yeah okay

Could it that you are at the crib with another lady?

If you took it there, first of all, let me say

I am not the one to sit around and be played

So prove yourself to me

I’m the girl that you claim

Why don’t you say the things

That you said to me yesterday?

Clearly, the man to whom these ladies are singing is using the avoidance strategies. All Beyonce wants is the immediacy she once enjoyed with her man. Her complaints include:

1. He is not saying her name. This is number 8 on the list of avoidance strategies. By not using her name, he is failing to recognize her as a person, especially a person of some significance in his life.

2. He is not using ritualistic statements. This is number 1 on the approach strategies list. He used to ask the same question, “Baby, how’s your day?” but apparently he has slacked off and is no longer showing interest.

3. He is using abrupt communication, responding to her with simple, short answers. This is number 1 on the avoidance strategies list. Every other word is uh huh, yeah okay. These are answers that obviously leave little potential for further communication, and thus close the conversation, or at least make it much more difficult.

Maybe Destiny’s Child unintentionally revealed every woman’s desire for immediacy with her man. I think it not coincidental that these words both send a meaningful message on immediacy and communication as well as compose the Best R&B Song of 1999.